What a tragic way to make a living

Thu 25 Jul 2013, 14:02 (last edited on Thu 25 Jul 2013, 14:09)

Open message to Dick Ellershaw.

Dear Dick,

I'm puzzled.

Shouldn't you be delighted that the term Portaloo* HAS become generic? After all, what is the first company most of us think of if we needed a temporary loo or building? Portaloo* and Portakabin*! (Please note, Dick, there is no need to send me a letter about using your trademarks here. I would not dare to use the terms in a generic sense. Merely in promotion of your marvellous company).

Some may have the view, dare I say it, that your point is a little pedantic. Petty, even. Rest assured that I fully understand the important nature of your request. It is vital that we do not allow trademarks to become generic by accident. Not every unremarkable company deserves this accolade. I admire your attempt to prevent this in the case of Portakabin* and Portaloo*. Keep it up!

Paragraph 3, line 2 starts...."On a more constructive note...". May I be cheeky enough to suggest this almost sounds a little apologetic. Could this be a gentle acknowledgement that your proceeding point is small minded? Fear not, Dick. Be bold. Some of us are fully cognisant of the true value of your work.

Anyhow, I must go now. I have used more than enough of your valuable time and the hoovering won't do itself.

Many thanks for your kind attention

Yours Sincerely

Mike Williams
...etc

* I am happy to provide the adverts in this letter as an introductory offer. I will contact you separately to discuss terms for any future promotion for Portakabin and Portaloo that I am able to provide. And now I've done it again. You see? I just can't help myself!!

PS I would be ever so grateful if you would pass on my sincere commiserations to your counterparts at Vaseline and Thermos who have clearly lost their valiant battles. And we must not forget your poor colleague at Bayer who tragically failed to prevent the widespread use of Heroin.

PPS I note the word Intellectual appears in your job title. Do be careful that some jobsworth legal eagle does not try to construe this as misrepresentation. If you need a reference, I would be glad to provide one.

PPPS After years of working hard, I fancy something less challenging to do as I approach retirement. Please be so kind as to consider me, should a vacancy become available in your team.