Abusive old gentleman at the Co-op

Wed 9 Sep 2020, 12:02

People often say that it's the youth that have no manners but I encounter 'elderly' people on a regular basis who are extremely rude. 

If anyone has a complaint or concern they should not shout at someone who was not involved. People enter shops wearing a face covering and then remove it as soon as they enter so can't blame the individual on the door.

As mentioned by others, the Coop staff have been fantastic throughout the whole COVID period, especially at the start with them replenishing shelves as quickly as they could in response to the irresponsible panic buying that took place so that we could all get the bare essentials. The staff at the Coop have been essential key workers to our community 

Wed 9 Sep 2020, 09:27

Why should tolerance be limited to those with dementia? Live and let live....

Tue 8 Sep 2020, 23:33

Again, given that Charlbury claims to be dementia-friendly, it would be excellent for those working, now and in the future, at the Coop (and elsewhere in Charlbury in public-facing businesses) to receive - from whatever reputable source - some proper training and guidance on possible ways to deal with and respond to the kinds of behaviours that dementia-sufferers can display. Difficult and upsetting encounters are the sort of situations that are likely to occur more and more in the coming years as people live for longer in the community with dementia, whether Covid19 is an apparent trigger or not.
Dementia attacks the middle-aged as well as the elderly and is an illness that often manifests slowly and strangely over the course of many years. The more that all of us are educated in the signs and symptoms, and gain some idea of how to deal as sympathetically as possible with problematic behaviours, the better.

Tue 8 Sep 2020, 22:31 (last edited on Tue 8 Sep 2020, 22:35)

Putting this in perspective, all this constant Covid hysteria has largely been drummed up by the media (who would probably say they are just doing their job) and our manic fairground operator driven politics for talking of precious little else other than Covid-19 for the past six months.

Life is or was always about taking risks. I'm no doctor but it seems the biggest difference is we've not had to cope with this one before and with or without a vaccine if we are old and frail or unhealthy there is a moderate - high chance of death. Just like smoking or eating deep fried Mars bars (other chocolate is available) every day of the week! There are of course always exceptions as all viruses mutate and multiply

Tue 8 Sep 2020, 21:10 (last edited on Tue 8 Sep 2020, 21:18)

Or it is possible the person without the mask (who was causing offence to the gentleman) was also a dementia sufferer? The coop staff where doing their best in the given situation within the dementia friendly community.........

Sun 6 Sep 2020, 13:32

I don’t condone this behaviour in any way, but it might be possible that the person in question is suffering from dementia - aggressive outbursts are a common feature and may manifest long before any more obvious signs of the disease. If Charlbury is, as it claims to be, a dementia-friendly town perhaps we should all be more aware, less immediately judgemental and publicly vocal about those who may be sufferers.

Sat 5 Sep 2020, 22:59

My husband and I were also witness to this nasty incident. Wasn’t easy for the lovely young chap on the door. There are ways and means and this was very unnecessary. The lad was doing his job to the best of his ability and to be shouted at was not fair. Well done to all the wonderful Coop staff throughout this whole pandemic, Charlbury folk would have been lost without you! 

Sat 5 Sep 2020, 18:52

Sorry Veronica, we understand all that - but it's not an excuse to abuse the staff.  It's not their job to 'police' customers and it's cowardly for anyone to vent their anger at them.  Why not politely ask the culprit to explain him/herself? Answer - so much easier to have a go at the staff as they can't answer back.  Unfortunately not many people feel able to step in when this sort of thing happens but my sympathies are entirely with the staff, whatever the elderly gentleman's circumstances are.

Sat 5 Sep 2020, 18:22

In answer to Veronica, I appreciate that the elderly are more vulnerable to COVID, but this gentleman was particularly aggressive and at the time, I thought that the situation might turn violent. (I was brought up in a major metropolis and am not a wallflower).This is never acceptable and alternatives to shopping in the Coop are available if this is particularly stressful to individuals. Mandy and her staff should be backed up to simply do their jobs without harassment.

Sat 5 Sep 2020, 14:51

I understand that but there is no need to be rude or abuse staff we are all in the same boat and we have all been there at the beginning with no 😷 we are there to help not be abused 

Sat 5 Sep 2020, 14:47

In defence of the abusive old gentleman, we all know that elderly people are extremely vulnerable to Coronavirus.  He may well have been shielding until the end of July and receiving food packages from the government.  These are no longer being delivered which has forced him to do his own shopping.  The government is insisting we all wear face masks whilst shopping to help prevent the virus spreading.  This being said he may well have been extremely frightened at the possibility of contracting Coronavirus which he felt could be a death sentence if he caught it.  We don’t know what prompted his outburst but if he was scared,  put yourself in his shoes.  Maybe a little understanding wouldn’t go amiss.  

Sat 5 Sep 2020, 09:58

This is exactly why I wear a mask although I have a medical exemption. Tolerance is sadly lacking these days. 

Sat 5 Sep 2020, 09:12 (last edited on Sat 5 Sep 2020, 09:19)

Sorry if I did not make myself clear.  What I meant to say is that there may have been a good reason why the person was not wearing a mask, so shouting at the person on the door was not appropriate behaviour. In other words I am agreeing with you, Maggie.

Fri 4 Sep 2020, 22:43

Hi Mandy

I’m so sorry that you and your team have to experience this regularly.

Thank you for being such an amazing team and keeping everyone going through lockdown. 
With big hugs

Maggie 

Fri 4 Sep 2020, 21:37

Thank you Maggie. I’m afraid this is part and parcel of working in retail at the moment. We do get a lot of abuse unfortunately. All the staff do there best they can. 

Fri 4 Sep 2020, 19:02 (last edited on Fri 4 Sep 2020, 19:59)

Liz,

You have missed my point. The person who was abusive was complaining about someone who wasn't wearing a mask. I have highlighted the relevant sentence.

Fri 4 Sep 2020, 18:58

Thank you, Maggie. People who don't masks are not necessarily being anti-social or flouting the rules - they may have a condition that makes it difficult for them to cope while wearing one. So a little tolerance is needed.

Fri 4 Sep 2020, 18:44 (last edited on Fri 4 Sep 2020, 19:04)

I was at the Co-op today at approximately 5.45pm standing in the queue to enter when an elderly gentleman was leaving. One of the customers that had left immediately before him had not been wearing a face mask. The elderly gentleman took it upon himself to launch a tirade at the member of staff manning the door regarding this issue. I was at the front of the queue to enter and was a party to the whole event.  I think that the Co-op have been stalwarts thoughout this crisis and that they deserve our support and not unwarranted abuse. I was shocked to see this behaviour today and if the gentleman in question reads this I hope that he could consider apologising to the staff concerned.