Proper use of the forum

Fri 15 Dec 2006, 11:59

Veiled reference to something else......I like your styley

Fri 15 Dec 2006, 10:54

What of Santa's work status?

Can Britain's infrastructure sustain more guest workers flying in, regardless of his claims of adding to the economy?
Sure, he says he goes back to his own country after the working season ends, but there's no guarantee he and his elves won't eventually settle here, add to the already overburdened social system and take advantage of our fatally renown hospitality.

I mean, how many more elves will our schools be forced to educate and sustain? Many of them don't even know how to read and write basic English. Do we really want our own children to be held back while our teachers are forced to dedicate precious educational resources to pupils who honestly would be happier and better off back amongst their own?

I can think of no nation in Europe that has successfully integrated elves into the mainstream culture; mainly because they insist on wearing their silly green and red costumes, chattering way in their strange little language; which frankly, I find incredibly irritating.

Not that I'm racist or anything, but if they're going to be making and delivering toys to our children, they could at least try and learn English and save us the spiraling costs of elf translation services.

I trust the matter will be taken up by our UKIP representative when he meets with David Cameron today.

Thu 14 Dec 2006, 22:07

It may be cause HE is always filling your stocking and not his wife's!!!

Thu 14 Dec 2006, 21:09

Then there's the whole question of Mr and Mrs Claus's children.

Do they have any of their own? And if so, why isn't Mr. Claus spending Xmas eve with his own children instead of going out all night on the raz?

Perhaps Mr. and Mrs Claus couldn't have children of their own, which would be a personal tragedy but would also explain the extreme lengths they go to pleasing other people's children; kind of a surrogate nurturing thing.

Of course, most likely considering their age, is that their children have long since grownup and left home, moved to Dulwich in London or Birmingham and lead their own lives, rarely even phoning anymore, much less visiting on Xmas eve.

There must have been a falling out at some point, probably over all the time Mr. Claus spent giving toys to other people's children, but sadly, never his own.

I wonder why that is?
I think we deserve to know the truth.
Afterall, they are public figures.

Thu 14 Dec 2006, 19:23

Santa, and the meaning of reality, his (her?) existence in a different space time continuum... Tau Zero of the elvish relativist eh?

Current edition of The Edge is worth a look for those interested in "reality".

http://www.edge.org/

Just a thought - why don't we invite Richard Dawkins to pop along from his residence in Oxford (which I think might be, appropriately, on Charlbury Road ... or is that someone else of note?) to mince the assembled religious of the season festival in a mass debate... He's recently published a book, something like the God Illusion.

If anyone's got a copy I could borrow I'd love to have a look, I've just blown my quarterly book buying non-existent budget on some green building stuff. These nasty jerry built fake stone 1970s grot boxes are such an irreperable energy disaster we might as well bulldoze the lot for breakwater material to hold back the rising tides, and start again. Say with straw bale and cob construction - which will outlast this horrid powdered limestone mixed with cement by a millenia or two plus be some power to the 10 greater energy efficient!

Same construction - or what about an earthship? - would give us a community centre 3 times the size for one tenth the cost, incidentally...

Thu 14 Dec 2006, 16:22

The Elves.....have board and lodgings. Uniform and probably a good pension. AND the love of a good woman in Mrs Christmas.
Who could want for more!!!!

Thu 14 Dec 2006, 14:03

My kids are very good at that sort of things (for a small fee). Please ring 09567 5555555.

Thu 14 Dec 2006, 12:10

Next thing you know we'll have someone posting here saying "Can anyone recommend any good elves in Charlbury? I'm looking for some help packing my kids' presents on Christmas Eve."

Thu 14 Dec 2006, 11:41

I think you will find that a team of polish elves seeking sanctuary in early September have now completely taken over as Santas little helpers and are working for half the pay and doing a great job.

Thu 14 Dec 2006, 11:11

And another thing . . .

What about those elves?
Santa seems to get all the good press with his ho-ho-ho and warm milk and bisquets and such. But what about the elves that actually provide all the labour making the toys?

Are they paid minimum wage or are they considered an outsource firm providing toys for our children at slave wages? (I've heard reports that many elves are actually political dissidents forced into work camps).

Do they have any union representation?
What health and safety regulations are applied in their work space?

I feel these questions deserve answers.

Thu 14 Dec 2006, 09:24

But, he's hardly a stranger is he.One of the most famous people in the world.
And we don' t let him in.....he gets in down the chimney!!
And, if you put up your stocking, you are inviting him in to fill it. So in theory he can't even be charged with breaking and entering.

Wed 13 Dec 2006, 17:04

In support of Igor, why do we tell our kids not to let stangers in the house!! and anyway has Father Christmas done a Risk Assessment to meet with Elf n Safety regulations, and what about the Animal Liberation bit... eh!

Wed 13 Dec 2006, 14:53

Julie.n., that website is wonderful.

Igor, great:-)

John h , get a sense of humour !!!

Wed 13 Dec 2006, 11:33

Hibernate.....Igor. Crawl back in the airing cupboard and wake up in spring.
CAUSE Santa is alive and well
http://www.northpole.com/
Where you CAN track on him on Christmas Eve.Log on and watch him fly!

Tue 12 Dec 2006, 22:46

get a life igor !!!

Tue 12 Dec 2006, 20:33

Nah, it won't do. I can feel your heart's not in it. Festive season depression probably. Go away for a while, come back afresh.

Mon 11 Dec 2006, 13:03

Back By Popular Demand.

OK, what I want to know is, if all this business with Father Christmas bringing presents on Christmas Eve is really setting the best example for our children. Firstly, at a time when science education in our schools is at an all time low, should we really be dispensing physics-defying accounts of flying reindeer pulling sleds at faster than light speeds?

It would take faster-than-light travel to be able to deliver presents to every household on the planet in the same evening; do we really want our children absorbing such unprovable nonsense. Everybody knows it's impossible to travel faster than the speed of light. It's a constant, for chrissakes!

Likewise, while we witness a dramatic increase in childhood obesity, is an overweight adult role model really setting the best example for balanced diet living? Shouldn't we be encouraging our children to eat less fatty foods and sweets instead of admiring the boisterous ho-ho-ing of some over-aged fatman in a red suit?

And what's he laughing so uncontrollably about anyway?
I bet his poor reindeer aren't laughing, having lug that ton of lard across the skies at faster than light speeds.

I wouldn't laugh, would you?

Wed 6 Dec 2006, 20:52

Hm, yes. I posted a plea to that effect a fortnight ago and nobody appears to have taken a blind bit of notice.

Note to those concerned: post inappropriate stuff here and it might get deleted. Post it in the right place (events, ads, whatever) and it won't be. Thanks.

Wed 6 Dec 2006, 18:32

Hear hear! Is this a debating forum or has the town noticeboard been relocated to cyberspace?

Wed 6 Dec 2006, 18:27

Shouldn't all people requiring or advertising babysitting services, ironing, loft spaces, builders, music at the Bell/Bull/Rose and Crown, go to the appropriate web pages for their one-to-ones (please read the forum rules). What's happened to all the arguing? Igor, where are you? It's getting really dull.