Chatting with other carers

Mon 10 Feb, 10:34 (last edited on Mon 10 Feb, 10:35)

Teena - I speak as one who cared for my wife at home for several years. I chatted with many people in a similar situation over the years. Every  situation is different. What is your relationship with the person you are caring for? how close is it? how long have you known the person? what memories do you share? Try to get behind/understand their thinking and behaviour. Don't be negative. Find the funny side of what is happening. Above all be patient whether it be 2am or 2pm. Yes go to memory cafe. You may be fortunate like I was, my wife had been involved with Charlbury life and up to the end was physically well enough to go for walks to the Coop, the Community Centre, to the Deli, they were all brilliant, we would encounter her old friends - just to be recognised and get hello was important. Charlbury is a village at heart and is dementia friendly. 

I could go on .........

Fri 7 Feb, 16:01

Memory cafe on first Monday of the month at the bowls club. :) 

Fri 7 Feb, 14:20

It's to one side of your question, but there's an author - Wendy Mitchell - who wrote some useful books about dementia, from one who had it.   What I wish people knew about dementia, and Somebody I Used to know, amongst many other useful things.   

There are some online support forums - the Alzheimers Society, Mumsnet, and more - whether they support telephone calls I don't know.   

One of my neighbours cares for a partner with developing Alzheimers; I'll ask him whether he uses/would like a chat service - if he has anything to offer I'll message you privately.   

It is such a long goodbye.   

Fri 7 Feb, 13:30 (last edited on Fri 7 Feb, 13:31)

When I was looking after my mother there were things set up that you could take the person along to as well, but nothing just for carers (in the case of my mother she wasn't interested in going out to sit and drink coffee with a group of strangers). It would have been really helpful if such a thing existed. 

Fri 7 Feb, 13:00

Hi 

Does anyone else on here care for a loved one with dementia and Alzheimer's ?

There is help for them but I get stumped when I am desperate to chat to someone who understands. The dementia and Alzheimer's helplines don't really have time to chat and sometimes all you want to do is say to someone who "gets it" HE'S DRIVING ME NUTS today!!!  or "I'm finding it hard not to shout the 4th time I say everything etc"   or how do you approach the small changes and declines that distress you when you see your loved one fading away into oblivion?  sometimes I feel so selfish. I try to avoid being in the same space if I think I might shout but sometimes it's a huge ask when one is exhausted .

If anyone out there knows of chat groups for carers or meet ups just for carers , please let me know.... screaming into a field isn't always an option!! 😂😂

thanks